Every Moment Counts

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2016 has been a hard year. That’s not news. Personally for me, it’s been a pretty big year of firsts and with that of growth and sometimes pain. I’ve lost my way a bunch, found it, then lost it again. I’ve cried a lot of tears and I’ve learned what it is to walk beside someone else in life and share the heavy burdens of everyday. I’ve discovered that when I suffer, he suffers too and I’ve discovered that when I feel joy- likewise so does he.

It took me a long while to understand that when I live my life with someone else, it impacts them too. I think sometimes we all somehow believe we don’t have the impact we think on one another. Random encounters with strangers can have impact on their lives good and bad and of course so does the impact sit with those we live with day-to-day. We all leave an impression on one another- a residue of our energy that stays on long after we’ve gone.

I’ve thought about this through the tragic and sudden death of a young friend this year. He was kind. He lived his life in a way that shone light on others. He smiled the biggest, hugged the tightest, laughed the loudest. He had so much joy about him that in his absence, I think it’s still here. His happiness was so big you couldn’t be in his presence and not be touched by it. Isn’t that how we should all live our lives? He only got 30 years here but I think he’d figured out the secret to a full life no matter how short the years. He was present and he felt so much joy I can’t think of him without smiling.

This year has been a tough one but if I have learned anything, it has been the importance of living in joy and in being true to me. I feel like I’ve strayed from that this year more so than ever. I’ve wandered off the trail in search of happiness for others. I’ve tried to be different so I don’t upset those around me and ultimately I think it is the thing that takes me the furthest from my writing and my ability to stay in touch with who I am. The desire to make others happy is something that weighs on my mind often. Sometimes it’s like a tidal wave that takes away every true perception I have of who I am until I have no voice. Without a voice, I have no opportunity to be great in this life and I think it is the realness of this that overwhelms me most.

It’s not about the year or the circumstances within it, it’s about being true every second, making the most of the time we have, not letting life slip away. It’s about hugging one another tight when we have the chance, taking quiet moments for ourselves, being gentle with others and with ourselves always. It’s also about knowing that each and every one of us has a purpose and it is to be great in the little moments we have everyday to shine.

My friend was not famous- he didn’t invent anything to change the world and my children won’t read about him in history books. He joked a lot, laughed a lot, hugged a lot, and loved a lot. He taught me that every moment counts. My only regret this year is that I’ve wasted too many on sadness. I’ve wasted too many moments in my own head spinning wheels that make the pain of not feeling enough more real.

I’ve convinced myself that I am small when I have every opportunity to be more.

I hesitated to write this because it’s been painful but I’m taking the moments back and turning them into something I can use to be better, stronger and more resilient because truly, every moment counts.

Positivity Project Day 1

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Positivity Project- Record 3 things I’m grateful for and 1 inspiring quote everyday for 7 days to promote a happier, more positive life.

Inspiring Quote: “Hold the Vision, Trust the Process”

Three Things I’m grateful for:

1. Support and love from friends and family.
2. The kindness of strangers.
3. Laughter that is so intense it makes your stomach ache.

happiness-heart-sunset

A Little Perspective

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Lately I’ve been keeping an eye on the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge phenomenon that’s blowing up social media and spreading like wild fire across the world. It’s incredible and inspiring. For those who have somehow missed out- participants from everywhere and anywhere dump a bucket of freezing cold ice water over their head to mimic the debilitating feeling of living with ALS, if only for a moment or two. Once they’ve completed the challenge they may nominate 3 others, who then have 24 hours to complete it. If they choose not to do the challenge they must donate $100 or are of course invited to donate and complete the challenge both.

Not only has the campaign helped to raise millions and millions of dollars for ALS research (8.6 just today!) but it’s also promoted general awareness for a disease so incredibly terrible that it takes my breath away. Just tonight I watched a video about a man whose family has a history of ALS. He watches his mother’s body deteriorate everyday while he lives with the reality that he will face the same fate. At 26 he, too, was diagnosed with the terrifying disease.

I’m 25. To be completely transparent, I’m struggling quite a bit at this point in my life. It’s not feeling like I belong, not knowing where my spot in the world is, not feeling loved or liked or understood. Day-to-day it feels frustrating and overwhelming and uncontrollable but the truth is I have the power to make changes. It is small potatoes compared to the impending tidal wave of the raw truth of living with a disease that slowly shuts down your body before you’ve had the chance to live in it. It’s not a ‘whose got it worse’ contest but it certainly puts things into perspective.

I’ve started to think about my idea of true success and happiness. I’ve been thinking about what it means to live passionately and with fulfillment and I’ve been thinking about why I have any excuse not to. There is a certain safety about colouring inside the lines, and with that a false sense of security that can be so deceptively warm and cozy that I think it’s sometime difficult to unwrap yourself from it. It’s easy to forget that life can come along and make other plans. Hearing the stories about ALS and learning about the disease through this campaign has reminded me to focus in on living everyday positively and gratefully.

With that in mind- For the next 7 days I’m going to participate in my own challenge to promote a more positive life. Every day I will post a positive quote that inspires me as well as 3 things I’m grateful for. If you’re not doing so already- I challenge you to live more positively and without the fear of leaving your comfort zone. Start with dumping a very cold bucket of water over your head and donating to a worthy cause!