I had kind of a super amazing fantastic weekend. It started with a visit to the Naturopath. I’m all about this homeopathic business right now. I’ve seen the Naturopath twice (who we’ll call Dr Fun) and in those two visits she’s learned more about me than my family doctor has in 23 years. What. The. Hell.
Anyway Dr Fun has me doing all kinds of crazy things like taking fish oil- as in the liquid not the capsules- and re-learning how to breathe. I’m trusting her and I’m letting her work her magic because after just one appointment with her I already walked out feeling like a million bucks. We talked about the connection between mind and body and about things like self worth and inner beauty. Basically it was one big episode of Oprah without those really incredibly comfortable looking couches.
I told Dr Fun I’d been at a party once and met a woman who commented, after talking to me for about an hour, on how comfortable I was in my own skin. She said “I’m blown away by how young you are. You have something sought after by women so much older. You’re easy to be around because you’re comfortable in your skin. It’s amazing”. I told Dr Fun it was the best compliment the woman could have given me because confidence is such a sticking point for me. I told the good doctor I was flattered that the woman got such an impression of me. The doc did this pause….slow motion look up from her notes thing. “Impression huh? You don’t feel that way yourself?” She asked. It was like I was playing battleship and my opponent had discovered all my locations. Revealed. Uncovered. Exposed. What good was giving off that impression if I didn’t believe it myself? I walk around believing I must be really good at acting, thinking I’ll just go ahead and fake it until I make it. Confidence is sort of like that right?
Somewhere along the way I think it sort of stopped being an act though and I started to get to know myself if I’m honest. I had a long chat with a friend today about it all and I found myself offering her advice (these Oprah moments are getting frighteningly frequent). She said she’d never be caught dead going to a café alone and reading a book and just having some ‘her’ time. The thought absolutely terrifies her. I told her I’m still trying to figure things out myself but from my perspective, you spend more time with you than anyone else does. You live in your head so, if you don’t like you and aren’t willing to sit down and spend some quality time then why the heck would anyone else? I told her (and this is true because I’m weird) that I often wonder to myself whether I’d be friends with me if I wasn’t me. It’s a bit cliché but chances are I’m going to be the harshest, most honest critic. I want to get to know me and do little things for me because I’m the only me I’ve got. That also made it a little easier to swallow when Dr Fun broke the news that I’m to start a cleanse tomorrow with no sugar, no caffeine, no alcohol, no wheat, and no dairy for ten solid days. Figured I’d get a bit of an uplifting post in now before my cleanse updates roll out and I’m cranky as hell. Stay tuned…