Nowhere Girl

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So I’m working on adopting this new healthier lifestyle. It started because of this whole business with my doctor single-handedly ordering a mass murder for the bacteria in my body via copious amounts of antibiotics. Okay that wasn’t the only starter. When I lived in Sweden I slowly moved into this healthier way of living just because it was sort of contagious (they are an incredibly healthy, active society that made me feel like a sloth) and living that way made me realize how much happier I could be. Okay being surrounded by beautiful Swedish men and travelling the world also helped, but getting out there and hiking and long skating and doing all kinds of activities I never would have done at home made me feel kind of peaceful and exhilarated all at the same time. I felt awesome when I ate well and the pounds started to melt away without my having to obsess. That’s really the key I think- feeling so amazing because of the activities and the delicious (but healthy) food that any thought of weight is really last. I’ve always found that when I focus on a number on the scale I get way too freaked out anyway.

So that brings me back to my quest for a healthy life now. I want to look good (we’re not talking Heidi Klum here, just straight up normal healthy me) and I want to feel like a rock star. I’m tellin ya those probiotics I’ve been taking are getting me dangerously close. I scoffed at the cost of them and I think I even mentioned to a friend that for this amount they should BE dinner but I’ll admit they’re working some kind of magic. I feel awesome.

On Sunday I also went to a class run by a Naturopath. She was really great! She gave a whole bunch of tips for living a healthier lifestyle like…go to bed earlier. It’s after midnight, I have work in the morning and I’m up writing a blog post so it’s safe to say I’m working on baby steps here. Another tip was to eat almonds-7/day- and soak them in water overnight before doing so to bring them back to life so they provide better nutrition. She talked about cutting gluten out of the diet (also working on that!) and shed light on the importance of attitude to overall health!

The biggest thing she said that hit me was the patients she sees that come in and say “I hate my job. It makes me totally miserable but I only have 12 years left until retirement”. 12 years of being miserable. At first I went ‘holy crap 12 years!!’ but then…it’s also understandable. It’s scary to step out of any kind of comfort zone into the unknown. I’m struggling with it a lot actually. I can’t help but think though, am I willing to live a life of almosts, maybes or not quites on this road to nowhere? Ultimately the responsibility to make it definitely, absolutely, one hundred percent is in my hands and I’ve been letting it all slip through my fingers. I think sometimes it’s too easy to find security in the things that just work, for fear of seeking more and being disappointed or falling short.

That naturopath made me realize that by seeking comfort in my little bubble even just over the last year I’ve allowed myself to fall short with lack of effort towards finding a little inner peace and outer joy. Today I went back to the gym after a long two weeks of cold and flu hell. Making lots of changes, thinking about lots of new possibilities and taking steps to get there…and actually being excited about that! I’m finally admitting I’m done with being the nowhere girl.

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